Judy in Aus can always make you feel older than you already feel!
Here’s her ‘alphabet for oldies’!

A’s  for arthritis
B’s  the bad back
C’s  the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?

D  is for dental decay and decline,
E   is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
F  is for farting and fluid retention
G  is for gut droop, which I’d rather not mention

H  high blood pressure – I’d rather it low;
I   for incisions with scars you can show.
J   is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend
K  is for knees that crack when they bend.

L’s   for libido, what happened to sex?
M    is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N    is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O    is for osteo, bones that don’t grow!

P   for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!
Q   is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R    is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S   is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T   is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U   is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V  for vertigo, that’s ‘dizzy,’ you know.

W   for worry, now what’s going ’round?
X   is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y   for another year I’m left here behind,
Z    is for zest I still have – in my mind!

I’ve survived all the symptoms,
my body’s deployed – And I’m keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!