Bananas!

This from Self Help Africa caught my eye:

Christine Mwale predicts that the income of women in her village can double when they become full-time suppliers to the new Banana Enterprise Project being supported by Self Help Africa in Nyimba, Zambia. Established by Self Help Africa in collaboration with Nyimba District Farmers Association, the project will buy banana from 600 women farmers with small plantations in the area.

Fruit will be dried and processed at the Farmers Association run plant, and sell dried chips to a Lusaka-based firm that sells Zambian fruit produce to supermarkets across the country. And better still, the suppliers earnings could be further enhanced as owner- shareholders in the enterprise, that has been supported with funding under Self Help Africa’s Mtukula Innovation Fund.

Christine is a lead trainer in one of 16 producer groups that have been established locally to supply to the plant. As such she arranges and hosts training sessions and demonstrations on her own plantation, and is available as a first point of contact for growers in her locality.

The new drying facility in Nyimba is designed to add-value to the banana that is grown in the locality, and also increases shelf life and marketability of the crop for women farmers. “At present we sell to traders who market our bananas from a trading post at the local bus depot, but this market is limited, and many bananas spoil in the heat before they are sold”, Christine says.

Banana production is widespread in Nyimba, and is a farm activity traditionally undertaken by women in the community.

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The Chanters Lodge Experiencee

The latest edition of our weekly Sunday night radio show on Zambezi 107.7 fm, Livingstone’s leading local radio station – The Chanters Lodge Experience with the Milli Jam Ingredient featuring George da Soulchild Kaufela – really was a Chanters Lodge experience as the two guests on the show, pictured above, are both workers at the lodge – Susan Timwendila (left) and Phostinah Siabona. Susan told listeners that it was the second time she had appeared on the show but for Phostinah it was a first time experience. Susan is a ‘receptionist’ at the lodge but I mentioned on air that that job at the lodge is much more than it sounds as it also involves stores control, bar sales and control, as well as purchasing together with the normal duties of a receptionist/cashier. Phostinah told us that she was a chef. “What’s your favourite dish”? Milli Jam asked. “Chicken Schnitzel” the reply.

“How long have you both been working at Chanters Lodge?” Milli Jam wanted to know. Susan replied that 2014 would be her tenth year and that she had started work on Tuesday August 18th 2004 (she failed to mention the time). Phostinah told him that she had started work in the kitchen at the lodge on 14th May 2012. I’m sure if one went to the files, these exact dates would prove correct! Susan took the chance to greet her mum at home (“Hi mum!”) and told us that her family are regular listeners to the show. Phostinah said that her mum and dad were in Zimba.

“Is it true” George wanted to know “that Chanters Girls dance in the kitchen when the show airs each Sunday night?” “Yes!” The girls admitted. “We gather around our little radio and rock!” “Richard” George continued “do you want to know which Chanters Girls were dancing in which clubs for how many hours over New Year?” I agreed to buy the info after the show! We opened this show with ‘Do It All Over Again’ by Elyar Fox back to back with the latest hit from Shakira featuring Rihanna. George chose two Zambian tracks one by Shyman and the other from Angozed. Milli Jam picked Pitbull featuring Ke$ha and one of our favourites at the moment – ‘Rude’ by Magic. No-one won the prize we give each week to the first person to text us telling us the name of the artist on our oldie of the week – the track was Joan Osborne’s ‘What If God Was One Of Us?’ My pick was a new track from Rascal Flatts.

The guys wanted to know what the girls did when they were not working. Susie said she loved reading and house work, Phostinah said she liked cooking and listening to the radio. Both girls told listeners they were ardent Arsenal supporters mainly because it was not safe at the lodge to admit to supporting another team. The mood at work also often revolved around the Arsenal result, so the team needed the support. Just imagine! Music wise Susan said she liked R&B and country while Phostinah likes One Direction (is there a teenage girl anywhere in the world who does not?). Both girls said they were on Facebook ‘but not very active’.

Asked where they would like to be and what they would like to be doing ten years from now, Susie and Phosti both hoped to still have good jobs and to be doing well. “Marriage and children?” asked Milli Jam. “That too!” They said. The girls are a great asset to the lodge and their bright vivacious personalities came over well during the programme.

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A Bad Day At Work

Thanks to Judy in Australia for this gem. We have started off badly this Monday morning but next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial deep sea diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below…

“Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize your job’s not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this:

We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut.

So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now repeat to yourself, ‘I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.’

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!

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