Couldn’t resist this one from Derek Dawson this morning:

The Yorkshire County Council Department of Labour, claimed a small northeast farmer was not paying proper wages to his help, and sent an agent out to investigate him. The Department of Labour employee said, “I need a list of your employees, and how much you pay them.”

Farmer:- Well, there’s my farm hand, who’s been with me for 3 years.
I pay him £200 a week, plus free room and board.

Then there’s the mentally challenged worker. He works about 18 hours every day, and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night, so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.

IDL employee:- That’s the guy I want to talk to…the mentally challenged one.

Farmer:- That would be me.