The Philosophy of Ambiguity


Thanks to Judy in Australia for this one:

The Philosophy of Ambiguity

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:

Please enjoy and understand the following :

1. DON’T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON’T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

4. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

5. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

6. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

7. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

8. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

9. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

10. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

11. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

12. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

13. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD ‘LISP’ TO HAVE ‘S’ IN IT?

Enjoy your day!

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