Alternative Meanings!

Another great one from Judy in Australia:The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.
The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj.
Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v.
To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v.
To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj.

6. Negligent, adj.
Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v.
To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n.
Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n.
Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n.
A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n.
A humorous question on an exam.