Only In Australia?

Thanks to Australian Judy for these classics!

The following questions were set in last year’s GED examination – these are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)

            Q. Name the four seasons (see above)
            A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

            Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
            A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like

                 grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

           Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
            A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

            Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
            A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
            Q. What happens to your body as you age
            A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

            Q. What is artificial insemination
            A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

            Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
            A. Keep it in the cow

            Q. What is the fibula?
            A. A small lie

            Q. What is the most common form of birth control
            A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

            Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
            A. The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome

            Q. What is a seizure?
            A. A Roman Emperor.

            Q. What is a terminal illness
            A. When you are sick at the airport.

            Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
            A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

            Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
            A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight   (brilliant)

            Q. What is a turbine?
            A  Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head