The Philosophy of Ambiguity

The Philosophy of Ambiguity – thanks to Ruth in UK for these! For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English!

1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA…… FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

4. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

5. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

6. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

7. IF A TORTOISE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

8. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

9. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

10. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

11. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

12. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

13. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD ‘LISP’ TO HAVE ‘S’ IN IT?

14. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

15. WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, ‘GUIDE DOGS ONLY’ ? THE DOGS CAN’T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND.

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Exmoor

If you didn’t already know, I love Twitter! Why? Well one of the reasons is that it’s always full of surprises. Last Saturday I retweeted a tweet from Exmoor For All (see the link), and got a thank you to which I replied that I loved Exmoor which held very happy memories for me. Elke Winzer (from Exmoor For All) tweeted me asking if I would write a short piece for her blog site, so this was what I came up with:

“Everyone tells me how lucky I am to live in a wonderful place like Victoria Falls and that is true. Not everyone has the chance to live just 10 kms away from one of the natural wonders of the world.
However, I come from Tiverton in Devon and was lucky enough to be brought up just that same roughly 10 kms (perhaps a little further) from Exmoor and how well I remember that beautiful place.

The heather and the bilberries spring immediately to mind. Picnics with my family overlooking the Devil’s Punchbowl, clambering over the stones at Tarr Steps (picture) and that wonderful drive over the moors to Lynton and Lynmouth, always asking my parents about the terrible floods and loving the ride from Lynmouth up to Lynton on the cable railway!

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Vivien Eva Chanter 1914-2007

My mother, pictured above, on one of her several trips to Africa, passed away on this day (19th March) in 2007 age 93. Had she lived she would have turned 99 by now. Just imagine!

It really doesn’t matter how old you are, it is very hard to get over the death of a parent, and you’d be surprised how often she springs to my mind. Actually you wouldn’t if you knew that thanks mainly to her, we were able to install a generator at Chanters Lodge in 2007, and given the number of power cuts of late one obviously thinks of her rather often! In fact every time I go to switch on the generator! Now that’s powerful!

May her soul rest in peace.

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More ‘Wise Words’ From Ruth Binney

Check the excellent review (see below) of my sister Ruth Binney‘s (above) new book ‘Wise Words And Country House Ways’ in no less than the UK Spectator magazine! No wonder Julian Fellowes wrote the foreword – firstly he and Ruth were virtually neighbours when she lived in West Stafford, just outside Dorchester, and secondly the book is clearly a great read!

Ruth recently moved back to our home county of Devon, and has just taken up golf! We look forward to news of her handicap. It’s been a big year for Ruth one way and another, with the birth of her first grand-daughter Molly and a new relationship with partner Mark.

We wish her ‘best of sales’ for the new book and I look forward to receiving my ‘comp’ copy!! Here’s the review:

“Finally, a simple idea, brilliantly done. Ruth Binney’s Wise Words & Country House Ways (David & Charles, £9.99) is aimed directly at the Downton Abbey audience, even to the extent of having a foreword by Julian Fellowes. It is a guide to what it was really like to live in a country house, whether you were a lord, lady, maid or cook. It has the rules of etiquette, the servants’ daily routines, the housekeeping maxims, the texture of people’s lives. How much to tip a footman? I had always wondered. Put it this way: my ten-year-old daughter wants this for Christmas, and so does my mother. This is a sentence no book reviewer ever wishes to write, but the way things are going, I may actually be compelled to go out and buy one. A copy of the book, that is, not a country house.”

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Grandparents

As I recently became a grandfather, I thought this might be appropriate for a change! There’s a photo of my beautiful grand daughter above! Thanks to Judy Down Under for these gems!

Grandparents recently put this message on their answerphone!

“Hello. . . at present we are not at home but, please leave your message after you hear the beep.  Beeeeeppp …..

If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in birth order so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes and do the ironing, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theatre, start talking we are listening !

then
WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?

(Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
 
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s!

A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady!

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them… They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on ‘cracks.’

They don’t say, ‘Hurry up.’

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes. They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don’t have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like ‘Why isn’t God married?’ and ‘How come dogs chase cats?’

When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.

So there you are!

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Housebites

I was delighted to hear this week that one of my sons Jan (above) has joined a relatively new organization called Housebites. As a chef it will allow him to work from home but still do the job he loves, cooking delicious food, by way of preparing upmarket, economical take aways in his part of London. People tend to underestimate the strain and stress the demanding hours of the hospitality and catering businesses can generate, and believe me I’m speaking from over 40 years experience! Working from home will suit Jan down to the ground and to me the concept is brilliant and a surefire hit! Here’s Housebites’ marketing blurb:

“The takeaway. The busy Brit’s staple meal. Quick, convenient, ready when you want it … and, let’s be honest, too often underwhelming. Imagine if you could have the ease of the takeaway, but with the quality of a restaurant meal, delivered to your door. Imagine it all being prepared by experienced local cooks (all taste-tested beforehand). Housebites makes all this possible.

We’ve turned the power over to you and the chef. Now you can engage directly with the person who cooks your food and see or provide feedback. And you make our menu by choosing meals you like and telling other people about great chefs you’ve tried. (After all, you are the best food critic in town).

Our chefs love local, love cooking, and love hearing from you. It’s simple, economical, and local. It’s re-inventing takeaway.”

And here’s about Jan-Martyn
“Hello, I love cooking to restaurant standard, but I also love being at home. Housebites has helped me combine the two and live a happy Chef life. What do you get out of this deal? Well, you get healthy, home cooked food delivered to your door. This is what I’m bringing to the table: your table in fact.

I’ve been taught by Jamie Oliver, Ben O’Donoghue and Arthur Potts. Not to mention my wife, family and friends. I have been cooking professionally since 2001, from high end restaurants to gastro pubs. I have catered for parties, weddings and outside events.

I’m a fan of fresh seasonal food. I’m an avid gardener and apart from that my contacts as a chef have led me to some great suppliers. I feel I have a great deal to offer my discerning local take-awayista.”

We wish Jan the best of luck in his new venture.

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Imagine Rural Development Initiative

I found this wonderful project through Steven Putter @stevenputter on Twitter.

 
 
Imagine Rural Development Initiative (IRDI), a Zambian registered non-profit organisation, is providing skills-training in moringa cultivation to 30 previously unemployed local Zambian women. This skills-training program forms part of IRDI’s Moringa project, which aims to empower local Zambians through the sustainable production of moringa, an affordable and highly-nourishing superfood, to fight malnutrition, improve health and eradicate poverty. Imagine Rural Development Initiative is providing this skills-training program free of charge to these local women, many of whom are widows and are sole breadwinners in their families and who take care of not only their own children, but also grand-children and orphans who have lost their own parents due to HIV/AIDS and other illnesses.

The 6-month training program covers moringa propagation, planting, crop management, harvesting and processing techniques. It also includes training on making aerobic compost and using moringa-based organic fertilizer to alleviate the need for petroleum-based fertilizers and harmful pesticides.

After successful completion of the training program, these local women will be contracted by IRDI to propagate and plant moringa in rural and peri-urban communities across Zambia. The women will also train local community members in moringa cultivation, creating further empowerment through skills transfer. The women will also have the opportunity to provide their services to other local agricultural co-operatives and independent local farmers.

IRDI aims to create sustainable income-generating opportunities for program beneficiaries, and this skills-training program will empower these local women to provide a secure future for themselves and their families. By completing this program, the women will be able to support themselves financially within the next 6 months. Although our local women’s group want to improve their livelihoods by learning new skills, the reality is that they still need to put food on their tables, provide shelter for their families, pay for transport and send their children to school.

100% of donations to this appeal will go directly to these women to assist with living costs for themselves and their dependents, including food, transport and school fees. A donation of $25.00 will cover a week’s living expenses for one woman engaged full-time on our skills-training program. Our goal is to help raise $3000.00 a month for 6 months to provide financial support for the 30 women in the group for the full duration of their training.

While IRDI provides skills-training to empower these women, you can give them the peace of mind of having their basic living costs covered while they are in training. We will provide regular updates, feedback and photo’s on IndieGoGo, from the women who receive your donations.

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